Opening Day Predictions

As far as I can tell, this is the first time in human history that three important dates happened on the same day. Palm Sunday, April Fools Day, and Opening Day of Baseball.

This year, like every other year of my life, I plan to get more into baseball than the year before. I also plan to attend as many games as humanly possible without losing my job, wife, house, etc.

With the excitement of the upcoming season, here are my fearless predictions:

• The Royals will be one of the hottest teams in baseball until mid may when they realize they are not suppose to be this good...they get rid of their up and coming franchise player (ex. Carlos Beltran, Johnny Damon) and finish last in their division.
  
• The St. Louis Cardinals will finish 23-139 (this is more of a hope/prayer).
• Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron's record at home in San Francisco after sitting out a 8 game road trip because everyone outside of the Bay Area knows he cheated.
• Mark Prior and Kerry Wood will be on the disabled list 12 times.
• Sammy Sosa comes back with a fury and sets the single season home run record even after being drug tested everyday for the last two months of the season.
• Tony LaRussa, the Cardinals manager, will be arrested for drunk driving (oh wait, this already happened during spring training).
• The Yankees will spend a lot of money, the will make the playoffs, ARod will all of a sudden strike out every time, make lots of errors and they will lose before the World Series (this is almost a guarantee - it happens every year).
• The Cubs will beat the Indians in 5 games in the World Series. (Hey, it’s April, no games have been played yet, and there is still at least 3 weeks before the Cubs can be statistically eliminated)